breakitoutt

I don't know anymore.

I went in late and missed Jewlery and came in like 10-20 minutes into social studies?  I ate my bagel and took notes.

Gym.  Lodey's trying to help me get my shot better because it's been off for a while.  We played horse.  I lost to him by 1.  Darn.

Math.  We took a test I think I did really well on.  But lately I think I've been doing well on everything and getting a dissapointing grade back.

Bio.  I got a 77 on my test which I thought I got like in the 90's on.  We took notes on bloodtypes and whenever she said type O, Sam Corrado and I would look at eachother and be like ...O.  I went to the bathroom to blow my nose.  And I saw Tom and he was walking with Joe Cardone.  I was wearing my Glamour Kills shirt so I stopped walking and looked at it and he was like YO FUCK GLAMOUR KILLS even though he was wearing his gk sweatshirt.  Typical him.

Free.  I went to the library and did my English homework.  Then I went to the cafeteria and sat with Sam, Sam and Casey.  I like hanging out with them, they're really funny and nice and yeah.

Spanish.  Quiz.  I hope I did okay on it.

English.  We talked about how my teachers fire alarm went off at 4 in the morning and they couldn't get it to turn off until 4:30.  And we talked about a bunch of random stuff, took a quiz on Frankenstein that I think I failed cause I didn't read, but maybe some of my guesses were right!  That class is actually becoming a lot more fun because I think the guys are starting to become more mature, atleast in that class anyways.

I saw Laura and Estebon in the front of the school and they were like HEY WE'D BE GOING ON YOUR BUS..BUT ZACH'S DRIVING US!  So I was like yo tell him to drive me home!  But they weren't going to his house so yeah, took the bus.  Lexi was on the bus for the first time in a while so we talked about how Sat does equal playing time and how I have practice late tonight and she was like yo that really sucks and is dumb!  So yeah.

I just got home from practice. And I'm so proud of myself and the way I played. Coach Sat (JV basketball coach who will now be the JV soccer coach) was there. Her and Armstrong (varsity coach) complimented me multiple times when I was doing something right, which I was really happy about. If I don't make the team this year I will be incredibly upset because I've been working so hard. I'll just keep working hard because the feeling I have right now, is completly awesome and I don't think I've ever been this proud of myself before.

 So basically the jv bombers team was angry that Trish asked me to play in one of the tournaments for the varsity team.  The parents of the jv kids think that their kids are better than me.  Yes, because all 7th grade kids are better than me and all of them practice more than me?  Yeah, okay.  The only way I would understand complaints would be from Cleo and Marissa, not from stupid 7th graders who probably just started playing.  Well atleast Trish told everyone that she thinks I'm capable of playing with the varsity team.  I'm kind of upset because who are these people to tell me their kids are better than me and that I'm not capable of playing on a varsity team?  I bet half of those people wouldn't know me if I tripped over them.  I know that it's not fair for me to play in a couple of their tournaments because I didn't try out and stuff but for people to have the nerve to say that I'm not good enough just really pisses me off.  Really, who are they to say that?  I bet they don't know how much I practice on my own.  When I'm in the paper and their kids aren't, will they still think their kids are better than me?  Direct quote from my dad - "I don't see a Katrina Dowd in that grade."  Fuck Yorktown and the stupid people who don't think I'm good enough.  People just don't get it.  Whatever, they'll figure it out sooner or later...they'll realize how wrong they are.  Atleast I hope so.  And I know I sound kind of cocky and I really don't mean to be, but when 7th graders and their parents are saying and thinking that they're better than me really just pisses me off because really, what seventh grader is better than me from this town?  And now my moms telling me more bullshit said by Chuck.  I don't understand how my dad is friends with him.  I don't get how my dad doesn't see how upset and angry Chuck makes me.  I wish my sister wasn't going to Africa.  This is the kind of stuff I talk to her about.  And she's the only one who knows how to cheer me up about it.  I don't know how she does it.  I'm really glad to have her, when my parents tell me all the bullshit said to them by other people, she's always there to cheer me up about it and she always gives me advice on everything.  I wish she wasn't working right now and I wish she was sitting right next to me listening to my problems because she understands them and I wish she was here cheering me up.  I've never gotten myself so upset about any of this stuff until now.  I don't know why, maybe I'm just getting tired of all of it.  Stuff like this has always bothered me and I've always found a way to get through it, but today I'm crying about it and I'm really not sure why it's bothering me more today than it has in the past (passed?).  I guess I can't swear that I don't care anymore.